Proof That Married Life Is Not Always Blissful In 45 Relatable Posts - Health and Wellness News

Proof That Married Life Is Not Always Blissful In 45 Relatable Posts

The feeling of finding the one person with whom we want to spend the rest of our lives is indescribable. No matter how much we try to hide it, the truth is that we all want to find love, and live happily ever after. The thing about marriage is that being married and sharing a life with a significant other is not all roses. While there will be many pleasant moments together, there’ll also be unpleasant ones. But do you want to know the secret to a successful marriage? It’s taking things in a lighthearted manner and seeing the funny aspects of every situation! In this article, we’ve compiled 45 hilarious tweets about married life that will make you see that it’s possible, and it’s healthy, to find humor even during unpleasant moments!

How dare you turn that off?

Watching TV is one of the best ways to entertain ourselves after a hard day’s work. While it’s healthy to go out and enjoy nature, sometimes we just want to chill at home and watch our shows. Some people enjoy it so much that they can only sleep with the TV on!

Image courtesy of LostFelicia/Twitter

We bet that this situation has happened in your life at some point. Your spouse has the remote, so you can’t change the channel. When they fall asleep, you grab that opportunity to watch something else — but then they wake up and complain about you changing channels because, apparently, they were “watching!”

Now, that’s true love!

When we get married to our significant other, it means that we love them so much we can’t imagine living a whole life without them by our side. And if we can’t see ourselves without them any longer, that must be true love, right?

Image courtesy of Wordesse/Twitter

The thing is: the demonstrations of our profound love shouldn’t stop once we get married. On the contrary, it’s essential that married couples keep expressing their love if they want their union to work. And what’s better than doing favors for our loved ones and going the extra mile, like the guy in the tweet did?

Attention, newlyweds: never do this!

When you’ve been married for a while, you know that there are certain things you shouldn’t do under any circumstances. You should never tell your spouse how to dress, you should never take 2 hours to get ready, and you should never suggest they didn’t do a house chore correctly!

Image courtesy of RodLacroix/Twitter

The guy who tweeted this clearly didn’t know that. See what happened to him? Ever since he said that, loading the dishwasher has become his permanent chore. So, if you want to prevent the same from happening to you, don’t ever suggest that your husband or wife didn’t do something right!

Excuse me, do you think there are no laws in this household?

Are you even a real adult if you don’t have a junk drawer? Junk drawers are essential to any household, and you can use them to store any items you may need in the future. And remember — it’s not hoarding, it’s just making sure you’ll never throw away anything important!

Image courtesy of copymama/Twitter

The thing about junk drawers is that, sometimes, your spouse may think that they’re allowed to throw random things in there as well. What they don’t know is that you keep track of everything in the drawer, and they can’t simply add their own junk without going through the approval process first!

Well, that’s a genius move!

Having someone to come home to every night is simply amazing. Being married means that you’ll have a loving support system always by your side and someone to share all your good (and bad) moments with. It also means sharing a bed, though.

Image courtesy of Chhapiness/Twitter

Some people are simply not that crazy over the idea of having to share their bed every single night for the rest of their lives. This man’s wife, for instance, lied to him so she could have the bed all to herself at least for one night. That’s kind of a genius move, isn’t it?

Thanks anyway, I guess.

If you are married to a man, you’ll probably agree with us when we say that they can’t go grocery shopping by themselves. While not every man is the same, lots of them seem to be unable to buy groceries unless you provide them with detailed descriptions of each product you need!

Image courtesy of Lhlodder/Twitter

This woman’s tweet perfectly sums up what it means to have your husband go to the grocery store by himself. Apparently, he bought everything except what they actually needed at home. Well, kudos to him for at least trying, right?

You get what you deserve.

Watching TV shows together is a great way of bonding with your significant other. Many couples who don’t like to go out on weekends stay at home binge-watching the latest shows on Netflix. But just like anything else in life, there are rules to watching shows together…

Image courtesy of Social_Mime/Twitter

The number one rule is; thou shalt never, ever, watch a show without your husband or wife, under any circumstances! And if you do, make sure to hide any proof that may turn you in, because if they find out you watched something without them, they might do what this man’s wife did.

Do you really have to ask?

One of the most fascinating things about getting married is that there’ll be some point in your life that you’ll know pretty much everything there is to know about your spouse. And that includes knowing exactly when they’ve farted, even if they don’t announce it.

Image courtesy of RodLacroix/Twitter

While there are a few people who just cannot fart or burp in front of their significant other, it’s kind of hard to not do that when you’re married — you’ll be spending the rest of your life with that person, after all.

Is it really necessary?

Marriage is incredible and all, but it can become quite repetitive after some time. That is why it’s so important that married couples try to try new things together. While it may sound simple, simply changing the dinner routine sometimes is enough.

Image courtesy of EliMcCann/Twitter

This text message interaction between two spouses is the perfect overview of what dinner feels like after being married to your significant other for some time. Heck, just being an adult has soured us to the daily dinner decisions. Why does dinner have to happen every single night, anyway?

I wonder who all these packages are for?!

Every married couple is comprised of one person who loves shopping, and one person who loves to save money. If your spouse is the one who does the penny pinching, that means you’re the one who does all the shopping!

Image courtesy of Tryptofantastic/Twitter

The fun thing about this tweet is that it is so accurate that pretty much every married person can send this screenshot to their significant other. If we are the only two people in the household, why do our spouses act surprised when the delivery guy brings a bunch of different packages to our house?

The golden rule of every successful marriage!

Marriage is not only about love and passion, it’s also about putting in the time and effort to make the relationship work. And if you want your relationship to work, there are some rules you have to follow quite strictly.

Image courtesy of karanbirtinna/Twitter

One of the top rules is, when your spouse asks you to take a picture of her, she doesn’t mean exactly one picture. What she really means is, “take a few dozen pictures, and then I’ll delete them all and ask you to take another bunch of pictures until I choose 1 to post.”

Being engaged versus being married!

When we’re dating someone and then we get engaged to them, we see the world, and our relationship, through rose-colored lenses. All is well, all is perfect — isn’t that right? But when we’re married to that person, things may change drastically!

Image courtesy of mommajessiec/Twitter

This tweet says it all: when you’re engaged, you and your significant other are more than willing to share everything; until you’re married and you don’t want to share even the bed space anymore! Well, this is obviously just a joke but an accurate one all the same.

What kind of specific details do you need?

As mentioned before, some men seem to have a real hard time with grocery shopping on their own. If you’re not there with them at the grocery store, they’ll surely come home with either all the wrong stuff, or they’ll be very literal with the list, and not deviate.

Image courtesy of HenpeckedHal/Twitter

While this tweet was posted from a comedy account, it is still pretty accurate. Many couples pick fights over grocery shopping because there are people who simply can’t be left to fend for themselves at a store! What kind of specific details do you need to buy toothpaste, anyway?

Who cares about golfing?

No matter how much we love our spouses, there are some topics that we just can’t talk about. And if we don’t want to talk about them, that means that we also don’t want to hear them talk about those topics!

Image courtesy of sweetmomissa/Twitter

Golfing, for instance, is just so boring that we cannot talk about it, or listen to someone talk about it — even if it’s our significant other! At times like those, we all wish we could simply ask Alexa to mute them, isn’t that right?

Priorities, my love!

Many married couples that don’t have children have a pet at home. First of all, who doesn’t love pets? Secondly, raising a pet is also a great way of bonding with your loved one on a different level, as you’ll be sharing the important responsibilities that come with having an animal to care for.

Image courtesy of VisionBored1/Twitter

However, some people may feel like the pet is stealing their significant other’s attention, just like this woman. Pets are not trying to steal your place in your spouse’s heart. And we’re pretty sure you’ll also be prioritizing the pet at some point — there’s no escaping cute puppies, after all!

Yin and Yang, see?

Even if you don’t recognize the expression “yin and yang,” you’ve probably seen that black and white symbol. “Yin and Yang” represents complementary forces, just like a marriage. If you want to have a successful marriage, you’ve got to find the person who complements you!

Image courtesy of copymama/Twitter

And according to Twitter user SpacedMom, the secret to a perfect marriage is slightly beyond the concept of “yin and yang.” In addition to complementing each other’s personalities, the perfect married couple will also complement each other’s chore preferences. If you stop to think about it, this actually makes a lot of sense!

Guess we won’t be eating for a while!

Dinner is a topic that has already been brought up in this article. Having to cook and eat dinner every night is quite troublesome, and some days we just want to skip that meal and buy some junk food instead.

Image courtesy of GrantTanaka/Twitter

The problem arises the moment that you and your spouse are so fed up with the idea of making dinner that neither of you wants to choose the meal for the evening. In that case, you may end up so frustrated you end up with a really clever tweet.

So you want to compete?

In addition to cooking dinner, there’s another house chore that every married couple hates — throwing out the trash! There’s not one specific person in the relationship who should be in charge of that task, so this is what happens:

Image courtesy of mom_tho/Twitter

If you’re married, you know that this game of piling the trash actually happens. And just like Twitter user That Mom Tho put it, there are no winners in this game, because both you and your spouse wind up with a dirty house in the end!

Will it ever change?

If you have children, you know very well that they can be annoyingly picky when it comes to eating. As much as we try to make them eat vegetables and other healthy food, there’s a point in their lives that they just refuse to eat healthily. 

Image courtesy of maryfairybobrry/Twitter

If you have a husband, you can also relate to this! As much as men like to joke about women being fussy, they actually can be worse than women. Some men are picky eaters and may throw a tantrum just like a kid if they don’t like what’s for dinner!

That’s why we got married!

Most couples wish they knew the secret to the perfect marriage. This concept is actually quite relative, because not every “trick” will work in every relationship. The thing about successful marriages is that you and your spouse have to nourish the love you have in every way possible.

Image courtesy of TheCatWhisprer/Twitter

Even the little things can help you keep your love growing, as you can see in the tweet above. His wife teaching their child how to properly position the toilet paper was enough to make this man fall in love with her all over again. Little things, see?

Yep, that’s essential!

Continuing on the topic of perfect marriages, it’s also important that you and your significant other are similar when it comes to each other’s principles, values, beliefs, and personality in general. But there’s another thing you guys should always agree on!

Image courtesy of Chhapiness/Twitter

Yep, we’re talking about thermostat settings! What is the point of meeting the ideal candidate for your heart if you guys don’t agree on the best temperature? What if you love cold and your loved one loves warm temperatures? It’ll be hard coming to agreements regarding thermostat settings!

What’s it with you and your keys?

Getting married means that you and your significant other are more than ready to commit to being together for the rest of your lives, always helping and supporting each other. The idea behind marriages is beautiful — until you put it into practice!

Image courtesy of maryfairybobrry/Twitter

Do you know when your spouse can’t find their keys? Or phone? Or wallet? Whenever they can’t find those things, they ask you for help, right? Well, that’s what you signed up for when you got married! But if we were to admit it, it’s kind of good knowing someone depends on you, isn’t it?

Oh, you bought those for yourself?

Marriage is all about companionship, having a support system, loving one another, and sharing everything with your life partner. However, the sharing part is not always as we expect it to be. Sometimes we have to share things that we did not want to!

Image courtesy of mommajessiec/Twitter

This has probably happened to you at some point in your marriage: you order food and ask your spouse if they want some too, but they say they don’t want any. And then the food arrives and your spouse eats your food without even asking if you were willing to share!

Is this a magic purse?

If you’ve watched or read Harry Potter, you know what we mean when we talk about a magic purse. Hermione, one of the main characters in the saga, had a tiny handbag that magically fit anything she put inside. Just like your wife’s purse, right?

Image courtesy of KentWGraham/Twitter

We can already predict that most people would fail miserably trying to find something inside your wife’s purse. Most of the time they’re the only ones who can find their way inside their purse and find what you need. The good thing is that she’ll always be carrying around anything you may need!

Did it hurt to admit that?

Most marriages start the same: everything is perfect, nobody is ever wrong. It’s called the “honeymoon phase” for a reason, after all. But once that phase is done, there’s one thing you’ll barely hear again from your spouse, and it’s “I was wrong.”

Image courtesy of Lhodder/Twitter

It’s so hard to admit when we’re in the wrong because sometimes we just don’t want to deal with our spouse’s smug face when they know they’re right. And when we do admit we were wrong, it’s like our spouse can hear our confession from miles away!

You didn’t forget it, did you?

Remembering dates becomes increasingly harder as we grow older. It’s human nature to forget things. But God forbid we forget our spouse’s birthday or any important dates in our marriage, right? Some people forget dates so much that their spouses even prank them!

Image courtesy of Social_Mime/Twitter

Has that ever happened to you? We can only imagine how this man must have frozen in place when his wife asked him to guess the day. A million thoughts probably ran through his head — but it was all a prank that his wife decided to pull on him! That’s love.

That is how we do it!

If there’s one thing that bothers women, it is when their spouse doesn’t notice that they changed something about their looks. Even if they just trimmed the ends of their hair, it’s important that you tell them they look good!

Image courtesy of XplodingUnicorn/Twitter

In this guy’s case, however, he was already used to telling his wife she looked good every time she visited the salon, even if he didn’t actually know what she had changed. And then this happened, and he almost got caught — but he tired, and that’s what counts.

It was supposed to be one time!

Whether some people like to admit it or not, marriage is all about having a routine. Even if you change things up every once in a while, having a routine is truly comfortable. And it’s funny to think of how some routines came to be, as we can see in the tweet below:

Image courtesy of Lazor2828/Twitter

In the daily routine of a marriage, there are many details, including how each spouse started sleeping on a specific side of the bed. It’s kind of funny to think that all it takes is one time, and that side of the bed is suddenly yours forever!

Well, that’s fair.

People who don’t like sharing their food might have a hard time being in a relationship. As we’ve said before, marriage is all about sharing, whether you like it or not. When non-sharers have to share things against their will, they certainly know how to get back at their spouses!

Image courtesy of RunOldMan/Twitter

When his wife ate the donut he had been saving for his breakfast, this man couldn’t simply let her get away with it. He found a creative way of getting back at her: readjusting her car’s mirrors and seats! We can only imagine how mad she got when she got in her car that day!

Oh, really?

What do living with a child and living with your spouse have in common? They will never do chores when you ask them to! If you ask your kid or your spouse to do something, they’ll probably say “okay, I’ll do it in a bit.”

Image courtesy of VisionBored1/Twitter

What happens next? You wait for them to do what you asked, but they never do. And then hours later, they’ll say, “I was going to do that!” — but at this point, you’ve already done it yourself. Well, that’s married life to you.

Nobody was in a bad mood, until…

If we’re being quiet and just chilling, people tend to think that we’re in a bad mood. Most of the time, we’re not even feeling cranky, but whenever someone asks what’s up and why we’re so silent, we start feeling frustrated.

Image courtesy of RodLacroix/Twitter

Do you know when our spouse asks us if we’re in a bad mood and we say we’re not but they insist that we are cranky? It is then that we actually get cranky! It’s kind of hard to explain why we get in a bad mood when someone asks if we’re in a bad mood, but here’s a tip: if you want a successful marriage, don’t ever imply that your spouse is cranky!

Did I really say that?

Truth be told: wives usually have the final say in most discussions, and that’s okay. With all the hard work that wives put around the house and with the children and with their jobs, it’s more than fair that they have the final say.

Image courtesy of TheBoydP/Twitter

Still, that doesn’t mean that they’ll always say the smartest things. In fact, sometimes they won’t even agree with themselves, as we can see in the tweet above. From time to time, if you quote something your wife said, she herself may think it sounds dumb!

My precious!

Shopping online is quite useful, but it’s also quite dangerous. Once we buy something online once, we don’t ever want to stop! There are so many items available online that we can’t help but want to buy them — they may be useful someday, right?

Image courtesy of SvnSxty/Twitter

As we said previously, in every relationship there is one person who’s all about saving money and only buy what is actually necessary, and there is the person who’ll spend money and buy things like it’s their last day on Earth. The wife from the tweet is undoubtedly the second type!

We’re going somewhere expensive!

Every married couple knows how important it is that both parties put in the work it takes to build a healthy, happy, and lasting relationship. One of the ways a couple can bond is by going out on date nights just by themselves, especially when there are children at home.

Image courtesy of sarcasticmommy4/Twitter

Date night can be cute and simple, or couples can go all-out fancy. However, the definitions of fancy and expensive may be different for different people, such as this woman’s husband. His idea of expensive is shopping at Lowe’s — and it looks like she’s so over it!

Well, have you?

After the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, people start seeing the flaws in their partners. That’s not necessarily a problem, considering that no one is perfect and we all have our flaws (no matter how much it sucks to admit that).

Image courtesy of mommajessiec/Twitter

Some people like to nag their spouses about some things. Wives nag their husbands to get things done around the house, and that’s a fact. But if you stop to think about it, all this nagging is ultimately for the best — so it’s fine!

That’s the best revenge!

We all have our preferences and favorite hobbies. One of the keys to a successful marriage is to respect each other’s preferences, and let each one have space to do their own thing. But if you’re mad at your spouse, you can get back at them by disrupting their alone time!

Image courtesy of pro_worrier_/Twitter

This tweet is the perfect example of how to get revenge on your spouse after they made you mad. This woman’s husband was really into playing online games, so when she was mad at him, she disrupted his gaming time — and that is perfect revenge!

Don’t mess up my viewing history!

Remember how we said that some couples love watching TV shows and movies together? This is truthfully a great way to bond with your loved one, but if, and only if, you’re both okay with sharing the same account on Netflix!

Image courtesy of TheCatWhisprer/Twitter

Lovers are okay with sharing; life partners not so much. As we can see in this tweet, watching things together is not every couple’s cup of tea. For Mark and his wife, each person having their own account and watching things separately is the way to go. 

What did I get myself into?

Just like most things in life, marriage is similar to a rollercoaster. One moment we’re right at the top, feeling happier than ever, but other times, things happen and we’re left wondering how we ended up with that person, even if we love them with all our heart.

Image courtesy of Six_Pack_Mom/Twitter

For this woman, the down moments are when her husband decides to eat things next to her and chews disgustingly loud. And do you know what’s worse? He’s eating popcorn in bed! We wonder what’s next — thinking it’s okay to eat crackers in bed, too?

Hey, that’s what marriages are about!

When you got married to your spouse, you both said your vows. One of those vows maybe went something like “for better or for worse,” and you’ll find that you need to stand by this vow almost every day of your married life.

Image courtesy of ThisOneSayz/Twitter

Yes, “the worse” we’re talking about is the moment when your spouse uses the bathroom. If they spend a long time in the bathroom, you just know that you’ll need to light a match in there if you ever want to use it again!

I trust you, but not that much!

We’ve been talking about a few things that are essential in any marriage, but the one thing we haven’t talked about yet is one of the most important aspects of every relationship — trusting each other. However, it’s kind of hard to do any trusting in this situation:

Image courtesy of Wordesse/Twitter

For most people, hair is a sacred thing. But even if you don’t care that much, you shouldn’t allow your husband to come near your hair with a pair of scissors. After all, who in their right mind lets their husband cut their hair if they’re not a hairstylist?

Thanks for getting my hopes up!

Some couples enjoy going out on dates, and some couples prefer to stay in and watch TV. There are couples who like to spend quality time enjoying nature or traveling. And then there are those couples who love to look at fancy houses during their together time!

Image courtesy of thearibradford/Twitter

Yes, looking at gorgeous houses on the internet is an actual thing. There’s a reason why home renovation shows are so popular, after all. The thing about browsing houses on websites like Zillow is that some houses are crazy expensive and you’re just setting yourselves up for disappointment!

So this what has become of us?

After you’ve been with your significant other for some time, you start noticing all their quirks and habits. Sometimes, these quirks may even revolve around you, whether you like it or not. Don’t understand what we’re talking about? Then check out this next tweet:

Image courtesy of OfficeofSteve/Twitter

Have you ever been in this situation? You’re chilling on the couch watching an interesting show on TV, when suddenly your wife sits next to you and puts her feet on you. Instead of simply enjoying what you’re watching, now you’re also heating your wife’s feet.

Selective blindness?

One of the things that your husband and your child probably have in common is that they’re both unable to find the things they’re looking for. Remember how we talked about spouses who are always losing their keys and their wallets?

Image courtesy of sixfootcandy/Twitter

Isn’t it super frustrating when they pretend they can’t find the coasters and put their glasses directly on the table? Now, if a sports car drives by 100 yards from where you and your husband are standing, he will, for sure, spot that car. We guess that’s selective blindness!

I thought you wanted to do something dirty?

This next tweet is hilarious and also quite genius. If, like many other women, you have trouble getting your husband to help with the chores, this is a great, and hilarious, way of making them finally do something around the house:

Image courtesy of RunOldMan/Twitter

If your husband tells you he wants to do something dirty, point him in the right direction and get him to clean something that is actually dirty! The initiative can also come from you: ask him first, and then hand him the Easy Off and a rag and tell him to clean the oven!

Backseat driving!

Have you ever heard of the term “backseat gaming”? When it comes to driving, it’s no different — there is always that person who tries to tell you how to drive, and it’s usually your spouse, right? Well, that’s backseat driving!

Image courtesy of sixfootcandy/Twitter

Although we’re not sure if helping someone park the car is considered backseat driving, it is kind of similar. What kind of parking helper instructs the driver to park the car in the worst way possible? It is at times like these that one looks at their spouse and thinks, “thank God I love this person!”